I am trying....

I try to remember all the good times we shared together. I try to forget what cancer did to your little body. I try and try but sometimes the tears just want stop. I scream it is not fair...why did we have to travel this road????
Today is not a good day, because no matter how hard I try I still feel cheated, left out, alone and desperate to hear and see you.
I just want to be the way I was when you were here. I will never be that way again because you cannot come back.
I look at all the photos of you and remember what JOY you brought to us.
Love,
Mom

What Would Life Be Like....

I wonder, and wonder what would our life be like if you were still here with us. Would you be married by now and maybe some grandchildren for us to reminsence your childhood day's? What would you have become in your adult life? Would you still crawl in bed with us and ask to rub your feet? Would you still pick my buttercups from the yard and bring them to me for Valentines Day with a handmade card?
Oh there are so many questions that I don't have answers for.

I still have your picture on my desk, the one where you are playing baseball when you were 6 years old. I still hold you in my heart and I promise to never let you go. Life has moved on even if I have not moved with it. You will always be our little doodle bug.

One sweet day we will hold you again forever, until that day God is holding you for us. Shine on our little boy we will never forget you.

Love Always,
Mom