Reflection

When I look back at all the time that has gone by I am numbed. It has been 24 months on September 18Th when our little boy Daniel made his grand entrance into Heaven. I am shocked that somehow with God's Grace I have survived the most horrible experience that a mother could face. I look back and wonder is there anything I could have done to make Daniel live longer? The answer is no. I walked every long, dark path that could have been to give my son more life. I cannot answer the whys, what ifs, how comes. I can answer the TRUTH God needed Daniel more than we did here on earth.
When I take down Daniel's scrapbook's and look back at all the emails, cards, and the multitude of prayers that went up for our son I can say I have seen a Miracle. I see thousands of people who loved my son and they Trusted God with his care, and his needs. I see the care and love for Donald, Ray and I as I read all the cards & emails that people sent after Daniel passed on. How do we survive after the loss of a child? Trust God to carry you though each moment of your lives, there is no other way to survive.
At one time I did not want to live. Now I want to live because Daniel would want his mother to carry on. God blessed Donald and I with two wonderful brown hair, brown eyed little boys. We have our oldest son and I have to remember he needs me more than Daniel. We often forget the siblings that are left without a brother or sister, they are hurting too. Sometimes we all make hasty decisions and make mistakes, we have to learn to forgive, don't carry around a torch ready to burn someone, love them, help them in their time of need.
I don't know if grief gets any better, I will know when I walk further on this path. For now I am a survivor, I am cancer free, and I am stronger than I was yesterday.
God Bless